Of course, I waited until after our traditional Sunday nap. After the bathroom routine (where she is fully potty trained and finally starting to let me brush her teeth), we adjourned to the bedroom for story time, and she immediately recognized that her binky was in the garbage can, a permanent resting place. Oh, the tears and decibels of sorrow! I continued our normal routine, reading normally despite the wailing and gnashing of teeth, had a bedtime prayer, and I blew out the light. I locked the door behind me.
After 15 minutes of feeding the baby and breathing deeply, my guilt had truly gotten the better of me. From behind her door, I heard such things as "I don't want a balloon!" and "I don't want to be a big girl!" How pitiful! Did she think she was being punished? Would this be the end of peaceful nights and afternoon naps? Will she resort to thumb-sucking? Would she ever trust me again? After consulting with Chris and receiving some encouragement not to give in, I went back in to Leah's room.
I comforted her and assured her that she was not being punished and I was not mad at her. I told her that it is hard to give up something we love and it is okay to be sad. I'm not sure how much of my pep talk was understood, but after signing and rocking quietly for 15 minutes, the thunder died down. I told her stories and we talked about the upcoming holidays. She is excited to be Jesse (from Toy Story 2) for Halloween, to have a birthday, and to "be nice to Daniel" after we go on an airplane at Christmastime. We looked out the window and talked about the seasons and how the leaves would soon turn colors, fall off and dry up. "We better wear shoes," she decided, so that we can crunch around on the leaves and not have our feet get cold. She was a little sweetheart and I could tell that she had already forgiven me.
Then I laid in bed with her for a few minutes hoping she would fall asleep. When it was finally time for me to leave, she was still awake, but I could tell that she had come to terms with this new development, at least for the time being. I'm hoping that in the morning, she will know to be proud of herself for going a night without a binky. I'm sure she'll parrot back to me that she got a balloon and we said bye-bye to her binky, and then she cried a lot.
I'm beginning to understand why so many people call the two's terrible: we expect so much of such a small creature. Since she turned two not even a year ago, Leah got a baby brother, transitioned from a crib to a big-girl bed and from diapers to panties. She talks in complete sentences but doesn't quite know enough words or have the emotional capacity to understand and fully communicate. It's no wonder they have a hard time.
Here's to my super-daughter and the opportunity to grow up a little. How I love my little girl!
